So you know what you’re signing up for
Personal Insight: Last week, a big picture idea I had been working on took a sudden left turn. This unexpected detour has turned out to be a test of all the skills and knowledge I’ve gained over the last two months. The first thing I’ve put into practice? Taking a lot of rest. I used to get so anxious about resting and taking my time to get things done in a time in recovery… but this weekend, I have been able to rest and rest and rest without a trace of anxiety. That deserves a victory lap, my friends!
Guided Meditation: A session on honoring life transitions – whether expected or unexpected. I use some Inner Child methodology here.
Dive Deeper: On using mindfulness to navigate change and transition – and why even happy life events can lead to feelings of anxiety, confusion, and depression.
Hi folks – I’ve been thinking of alternating between a guided meditation video and a written technique from week to week. I’ve heard a little something about the importance of different modalities 😜 Enjoy!
Mindfulness Insight: We’re relational creatures who survive by tapping into practical and emotional resources from one another. Over time, our systems have evolved to prioritize actions and thoughts that maintain our connection to others. While interconnectedness is integral to life on earth and the larger cosmos, it is important to maintain a healthy sense of self so that your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing is never compromised for the sake of others.
This week, I want to talk about a particular downside of interconnectedness – worrying about what others think of you. I know I’m not alone in spending an *incredible* amount of time worrying about what my parents, friends, partners, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, society thinks about me on a daily basis. Do they think I’m a disappointment? A source of anxiety? A burden? Am I toxic? Am I weird? Am I stupid? Am I ugly? Am I annoying?
Your To-Do: Whenever you read this, I want you to spend the next 24 hours just noticing how often you worry about what others think of you. Notice how much time this takes out of your day. Notice the physical sensations these thoughts cause in your body.
I did this exercise yesterday, so I’ll spoil the surprise – it is *mind-boggling* how much time we spend thinking about what other people think and just how bad it makes our bodies feel.
Of course, it’s not that we should stop caring about other people and only think about ourselves. That’s going too far in the other direction. Rather, we need to spend time getting acquainted with who we really are (not who other people want us to be) and lovingly accepting that person with all our funny flaws and beautiful strengths. Then, when we are in relation with other living creatures, we only need to keep two rules of engagement in mind: kindness and honesty.
If we’re taking care of ourselves and treating the world with kindness and honesty, then, my friends, it truly does not matter what other people think.
Dive Deeper: Some great tips on giving yourself permission to be you, stopping comparison to others, and working with jealousy.
Some lovely direction from our old friend, the Buddha:
The way is not in the sky.
The way is in the heart.
